Evelin Sillén, 19-20 December 2015

”…life with spiritual beings. Here the relation is wrapped in a cloud but reveals itself, it lacks but creates language. We hear no You and yet feel addressed; we answer–creating, thinking, acting: with our being we speak the basic word, unable to say You with our mouth.”

Martin Buber I have noticed that I am investigating mourning from within. It is an awkward art, the way it moves, through body and relations. An inward gesture. An outward act. There is an emptiness. A wish to communicate, but no words to do so. There is a density. A wish to withdraw, but nowhere to go. I am trying to give shape to the silent matter of emotion, by giving it a language to speak for itself. The society where I grew up never taught me how to grieve. There was almost a sense of denial. So when it suddenly struck me, it was in the summer, it caught me with confusion. I wasn’t quite sure of how to deal with it then, and I still wonder. I might be wondering, you know, forever.